Mah Freeyind Bobe!
Bah "quest" ah mean, ahm sittin arowund and complayinin about how much eeyit sucks at mah jobe and note actually applahyin for jobes -- becaws that wode take effort!
Ah just tawked tew mah friend Bobe up here, he eeyis soaw nahs. He's pretty much the ownly wone who stops tew speak tew me eeyin the moarning! (Theeyis could be becaws ah complained tew his supervahsor that he never stopped to speak to me -- but who cares, eeyit woarked!)
Ah was talelin Bobe about how much eeyit sucks, and how ahd raither be a substitute teacher than woark here. He's so nahs -- he encouraged me to dew eeyit! Actually, he encouraged me tew dew anything pose-ible tew git out of here! He really lahks me and wonts me tew be happy!
Even when ah was keeyiddin about how ah was goan to becomb a prostitute, Bobe encouraged me tew go for eeyit (sometahms he's note so braht). That's actually kahnd oaf werd noaw that ah think about eeyit. huh. lol
Eeyin oather news, ah just took mah temperature and eeyit's 97.0 degrees. Ah keep mah thermoameter up here at woark just eeyin cayis ah git real seeyick and need tew goaw hoam.
Weyill, ah theeyink ah better cawl mah moam and tell her about mah latest bowel moavement -- eeyit's mah favorite part oaf the day (hers tew!).
Ah hope mah moam doan't ever dah.